My Builder

He is gathering up the pieces of my heart.

With each day that goes by, he puts the pieces into place.

I let him in and he is careful; he knows this is the last chance.

I know no other way than to let him in, trust his words, and

let him take care of me once again.

My heart belongs to this builder; my one and only love.

-Jackee

Forces of Nature

a sea of tears have filled the tomb where my heart hides
protected from forces that fail to see
what a shame
the feeling is overwhelming
scared to break free from the catacombs
scared to stand exposed and unprotected
will he keep me safe
will he handle with care
my heart cannot know but will trust him once again

-Jackee

Forward

the pulling is exhausting
am I coming or going
one step at a time - forward
don't want to look behind
why is it on my heels
breathing down my neck
strange how I run faster
but it always catches up

it must grow tired someday
I will never falter
already traveled that road
left me in the black
resilient and surviving
never going back
keep your hands off me
take your words back
I am persistent
I am strong
quit pulling on my mind
my heart belongs to him

-Jackee

"I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me."

-Eddie Vedder

LONGING

She’s delicate
Sensitive
She longs to feel
To be touched
Deep within her soul
Her heart pains to be one
Devoted to her love
She is special
She knows
But cannot make it so
Why does she wait
She does not know
She needs be held
She wants to feel safe
Encircled by his desire
For her sacred power
To accept her beauty within

-Jackee

Where Can I Find It?

The questions are heavy on my heart
The darkness sucks the breath from my lungs
My thoughts race, I cannot hold them
My flesh calls out for the razor’s edge
The relief is within but too far to reach
If I go now, it will never come…

-Jackee

My Schedule

The nerve.... Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it.

4:00: Wallow in self pity.
4:30: Stare into the abyss.
5:00: Solve world hunger, tell no one.
5:30: Jazzercize.
6:30: Dinner with me - I can't cancel that again.
7:00: Wrestle with my self-loathing...

I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9... I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.

-The Grinch

THE MASK

No one ever acts themselves,
it's always a mask.
Whenever you see a face,
it's always a mask.
I wonder who they really are
behind that mask.
I wonder if they're really happy
behind that mask.
I don't think anyone knows me
because of my mask.
I don't think they really care...
as long as their mask is there.

-Jackee

The Win

The time fades away slowly-
The pictures go with it.
Each passing day is a triumph;
If there is no pain it's a victory.
The days will get shorter,
The road remains long-
But if there's no pain it's a victory
And if the pictures fade away
I have won.

-Jackee

The Decision

 

Yellow flowers from her past

A love grows weaker, fading fast

Her brown eyes wet with sting of tears

She wonders how she got through years

If only he had seen her there

She wouldn’t sit here now in fear

Wondering which step to take

Knowing all there is at stake

Help her Lord to do what’s right

Keep her strong all through the night

Guide her feet along the way

Help her choose to go or stay

-Jackee

Her Hero?

Bubbling

Festering inside

Things he said

She cannot compute

Raging waters of selfish pride

They wash over her

One cannot predict the devastation

Only partially revealed

She’s swimming

She’s sinking

He cannot compute

Will he realize?

Will he reach for her?

-Jackee

Games People Play

Head games.

What is this about?

Not doing this again;
It is hard to understand.
Love doesn’t come in small packages.
Who knew?
Last played,
Not long ago.

My turn to go first.

One foot in front of the other?

Heart hidden.

-Jackee

 

What's in a Name?

Landon: Mama, I don't want you to call me Landon anymore.
Jackee: Why?
Landon: Because there are too many Landons in the world.
Jackee: Oh ya?
Landon: Ya, I don't think that you and Dad picked a good name. You should call me something else.
Jackee: What should we call you?
Landon: Batman.