Overcoming the Odds

On a Crumpled Piece of Paper

The dark place
I'm here again
It is so familiar
Each time gets more painful
each time I see
the defective one is me

Why do I let them near me
How do I get caught up
Their lies cover my eyes
I cannot see
They whisper in my ears
Cloud my mind with manipulating words
I am powerless for a time
I struggle to take back what is mine

-Jackee

We're All Fine

They turn away
It’s uncomfortable
They don’t want to know
They don’t want to witness
Pretend innocence
Ignorance
They didn’t see what they saw
They didn’t read what they read
They don’t know anything
Everything is fine
We’re all fine
Phony inhabitants
It is all so nauseating
Everyone is too afraid
Say what they think
Tell the truth
Authenticity has vanished from their worlds
True, raw emotions are nowhere to be found
Just keep pretending
The shocking, yucky things don’t exist
Not in their homes
Everyone is fine
We’re all fine

-Jackee

He Loves Me Not

She sat across from him

There was nothing left to say

They stopped looking

They stopped trying

He got up and walked away

She fell...

-Jackee

Daydreaming

I want to walk through one day where the images are not permitted. Where the sensations and thoughts of him are not intruding on my body. I want to forget. I want to slice it away, chop it up, and observe as it soars away on the breeze of forgetfulness, to a world that I know nothing about.


-Jackee

RANDOM

Protection

Have it Your Way

Turn Around

Go Away

I Can't Keep Up

Smile

I am Ready

You are Blind

It's Almost Over

Goodbye

-Jackee

Haunting

Sometimes I can't sleep. The images of what happened that night play again in my mind. I did everything wrong. It still scares me. The nightmares make me sweat and sometimes I feel like I want to cut the image out. I cannot. I must face it.

He was strong. His hand came out of nowhere, as did his anger. I felt the sting on my face and the piercing of his words in my ears. I reacted quickly, but punching him in the face only made it worse. His hands came at me and I laughed at him while he was choking me. "What are you going to do, kill me?" I asked him.

That is all I want to tell.

I didn't cry until much later... I couldn't believe what I'd gotten myself into. I blamed myself and felt that I deserved everything I got. I had bruises and my body ached. I should have told but I couldn't. I was so ashamed of what had happened.

I still blame myself. I should've known better. I still feel afraid sometimes. Some might say that I should be proud of myself for fighting back. I did fight...hard. I still am...

-Jackee

There is Life After You

All the pretty words flew right out the door
You pushed me away

You said I was too much; I was so emotional
In the beginning the word was passionate

I was once special
In the end I was just mental

You just can't handle all that I have to give
Never satisfied anyway

You want a puppet to play in your movie of life
Do your own thing and then it's on to the next

I hate how you stripped me down
I was naked and you saw all of me

Took the memories from my mind
Kept me vulnerable for your pleasure

I never suspected
So naive to your cunning

Instead of taking responsibility for your actions
You blamed me

I never asked to be saved
I never once misbehaved until your selfishness took over

You had to have an excuse for your behavior
So that you could keep the truth undercover

I was left alone without a word
Thrown away, just like the others

I will never be deceived again
I will survive, as I have many times before

I can overcome your betrayal
But you will never be loved again like I loved you

I am more than you deserve
And you will never have me again

So many lies; so many tries
Full of disrespect and never thinking of another

You have no compass to keep you well
You are no better than them

You will one day atone for what you have done
But my heart and mind will have already won

I'm the best thing...
YOU'LL WISH YOU STILL HAD


-Jackee