Sometimes I can't sleep. The images of what happened that night play again in my mind. I did everything wrong. It still scares me. The nightmares make me sweat and sometimes I feel like I want to cut the image out. I cannot. I must face it.
He was strong. His hand came out of nowhere, as did his anger. I felt the sting on my face and the piercing of his words in my ears. I reacted quickly, but punching him in the face only made it worse. His hands came at me and I laughed at him while he was choking me. "What are you going to do, kill me?" I asked him.
That is all I want to tell.
I didn't cry until much later... I couldn't believe what I'd gotten myself into. I blamed myself and felt that I deserved everything I got. I had bruises and my body ached. I should have told but I couldn't. I was so ashamed of what had happened.
I still blame myself. I should've known better. I still feel afraid sometimes. Some might say that I should be proud of myself for fighting back. I did fight...hard. I still am...
-Jackee
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